Well, I’ve made it. As I sit down to write this, it’s my 40th birthday. Most of those forty years have been great. And when they weren’t as great, I still learned lessons. Sometimes it was years later before I learned the lessons, but apparently that’s how it works sometimes.
In an effort to share what I’ve learned, here are forty lessons I’ve learned in the past forty years about business, fatherhood, marriage, and life in general. They may or may not be applicable to you, and they’re in no particular order.
- Regardless of intellectual, physical, and financial capacity, the truth is everyone has equal value. We’re not the same, but we are equal.
- Treating love as a choice and not an emotion makes it a lot easier to love others. I believe that’s how Christ treated love.
- There’s no easy mode in life. If things are going well, I’m probably doing something wrong. I should be struggling with one or more things at a time.
- Parenting should look easy to my kids, but should be challenging for me. Doing it right takes intentionality and self-discipline.
- There’s no such thing as quality time with friends and family, just time. If I want more quality, I should invest more time.
- Life is temporary, therefore so are life’s problems.
- Telling someone they’re wrong is not helpful. Unless it’s my kids, in which case I still have to explain why.
- It’s not my job to shelter my kids from the world. It’s my job to be a responsible, Christian, fatherly guide.
- Life is all about helping others.
- Humor is essential.
- The higher the male to female ratio in your family, the funnier fart jokes are.
- Most problems can be solved simply by never giving up.
- Sometimes that thing I thought was a weakness was actually a strength, I was just using it wrong before.
- I can’t exercise my way into losing weight.
- Having a hobby that helps me relax without my friends and family is important.
- The key to staying physically fit and well is eating right, sleeping enough, and exercising on a regular basis.
- While it’s easy to remember that eating right makes me feel good, I also need to remember that eating like crap makes me feel like crap.
- Taking kids on errands when it’s not convenient counts as family time.
- I need to treat my kids fairly, but not the same. They aren’t made the same, so treating them the same would be dumb.
- If I love someone, I should get involved in something that’s important to them.
- I can get people I love involved in things that are important to me, but that’s not the same thing as being involved in something that’s important to them.
- Despite the society norms, talking about money with those I care about is important.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
- Not everyone likes Mexican food, as crazy as that sounds.
- Sometimes helping people requires sacrifice.
- The Covey time management grid is insanely helpful for prioritizing things across all areas of life.
- If I don’t tell my money where to go with a budget, it disappears. The same thing is true for my time also.
- Activities I normally do alone can be done with friends or family. But when I do that, the purpose needs to change to spending time with them rather than accomplishing the activities. Shopping or walking are great examples.
- Consistency is super boring.
- Consistency is super important.
- Reading for fun and education is just as important now as my teachers told me when I was a kid. If anything, they may have understated things.
- Stuff changes. I can complain about it or adjust accordingly. One of those is a lot more productive than the other.
- It’s important to have goals and milestones if I want to live a meaningful life.
- Self-limiting labels or saying “I could never do that” are a red flag that I should probably make a change.
- Communicating with people how they like to communicate makes for much more useful interactions, but it takes practice.
- In general, making interactions all about the other person, not myself, makes them more meaningful and useful.
- However, sometimes I need to talk with someone who will make the interaction all about me. But the goal should be productive change where possible and venting where needed.
- The Bible is hilarious, but also super applicable. But I have to read the whole thing and actually work on understanding it contextually. Then it will be more applicable and more funny. Or is that funnier?
- Superman and Star Trek are awesome because they reflect a hope for the future. Oh, and turns out that’s why Jesus is awesome too.
- Accomplishment takes effort.
You may have noticed some patterns in the list and even a decent amount of overlap. But hopefully you got something out of my forty lessons.
Feel free to let me know if you have any questions, comments, or even disagree with something.